After such a difficult year as 2020, instead of thinking about good resolutions and new projects for 2021, I propose that you think about how to take care of yourself and take your wellbeing as a project.

It has been a long time since the “new normal” has started, and we can’t make any prediction on how it will continue to evolve in the months ahead. We are forced to face some kind of eternal present where we can’t just “resist” until all of this – whatever “this” is – will pass. We are left with just the present reality to meet and embrace, and this defines the need for a new approach and new strategies, to be adopted in order to respond and fully live our present experience. One of the main things we have noticed is how so many people feel overwhelmed and disconnected by the lack of boundaries between personal and professional life, now that remote working is the rule. They have to juggle the demands of kids, partners, chores and video meetings, phone calls, emails, challenging intellectual work, responding to these different dimensions which have not adjusted, just overlapped in a continuum of interruptions, distractions and forced multitasking. It is increasingly difficult to concentrate, separate, be present to what we are doing without our attention being called upon by so many other – often unrelated – things. Furthermore, the lack of human, in-person interaction and the unprecedented amount of screen time contribute to create a “virtual bubble” that fatigues our brains and bodies which, for the first time, constantly and continuously need to inhabit two different “spaces” at all times. So how to re-center? How to sustain the present reality in a healthy way and how to preserve and invest our energy? How to feel recharged instead of drained?

Self-care is the necessary answer. And this doesn’t mean just to “rest”, but create a sustainable, unique to each person system that will make them feel good and preserve their energy, attention and personal space, so that every activity in which they will engage, will be conducted in a conscious, healthy way.

It might seem absurd to talk about self-care right after the holidays, but if you think about it, this is the best time to reflect on yourself, precisely because being more rested, you can pay more attention to the signs of fatigue.

Let’s see together the three steps that will allow you to take care of yourself and at the same time to continue performing at work.

First step: Realize when the “jar is too full”

Often, overwhelmed by the demands of our professional and personal life, we don’t realize that we are tired and we keep running. Until at some point we can’t take it anymore so, we adopt escape strategies and we react by taking stands like “I don’t care anymore”; “I want to change company”; “I want a new life”. Or, due to fatigue, we get sick.

Let’s see what the signs are to pay attention to:

• A lack of interest in your work
• Lack of energy
• Frustration
• Tiredness
• Fatigue
• Lack of concentration
• Pain: back, shoulders, intestines …
• Poor quality of sleep (you wake up still tired)
• Difficulty in getting asleep or you wake up in the middle of the night
• Aggressive attitude/behavior
• Impatience or annoyance in the face of small daily mishaps
• Desire to be alone, more than usual
• Little desire to interact in a meeting, even when you think you have good ideas
• Ruminations about the past

 

Ask yourself if, when these symptoms appear, you react as a “warrior” or a “healer”.

Sometimes trying too hard or resisting “at all costs” to all the stimuli (warrior attitude) has a price to pay in the medium term, because our body calls for our attention through physical illnesses that force us to stop.

Now, you may ask: if I pay attention to my fatigue, how can I carry out all my daily tasks? How do I go on? The world certainly doesn’t stop because I feel fatigued!

Let’s see together the other two steps to prevent the famous straw from breaking the camel’s back.

Second step: Recharge and reconsider

When you are faced with difficult situations, it is important to take two minutes to reconsider and respond appropriately, rather than reacting impulsively.

First of all, see if the situation generates negative emotions. If this is the case, I invite you to recharge your energy with five deep inhalations and five slow exhalations. Giving oxygen to your body and mind will help you clear your head and recharge in a simple way. As you breathe, I invite you to think about a beautiful image or a positive moment in your life, regardless of the present situation. It can be a pleasant moment with your family or close friends, perhaps on a vacation, or an occasion when you have been able to enjoy a beautiful landscape. This is an extremely easy exercise to do in any situation: in a meeting as well as during a conversation, without anyone else noticing that you are doing it.

Once you have cleared your mind, I invite you to reconsider the situation, answering these simple questions:

• What is my role in this situation?
• What do I want to achieve here and now?

 

Third step: Establish your boundaries

This is a particularly useful skill these days, when private and professional life overlap due to smart working.

When you have a few minutes, think about these points:

Workplace

Make choices:

• What is the timeframe when a part of your home becomes an “office”?
• When should it go back to being a “personal space”?

 

Of course, it’s not possible to set completely fixed times. But it is useful to set approximate time limits to have a real personal space, without it being completely invaded by your work.

People

• Who are the people who recharge you?
• Who are the people who drain you?

 

It is useful to make this distinction and pause to think if you find yourself more in the company of people who “drain” you or people who recharge you and to recreate a balance where necessary.

Enjoyment

• What activities do you enjoy?
• What activities do you dislike?

 

As with people, I invite you to pause to take stock of your activities and, if necessary, put healthy boundaries on the inevitable activities that you do not like.

I recently had an interesting conversation with a client of mine who, after doing this exercise, realized how vital it was for her to have a more balanced life. She decided to limit her working hours instead of working late with the illusion of getting everything done. Above all, she began to do extra work activities that regenerated her, such as going once a week to get a massage and take a walk of at least half an hour every day. She has benefited immensely from this in terms of her decision-making ability and her efficiency. These changes have greatly contributed to her well-being and self-confidence.

As a wish for this new year, I invite you to take care of yourself and find your unique way to maintain and regenerate your energy. Happy New Year and good luck!