When I started working as a coach, I had the chance to have a supervisor known world-wide for his intellectual and human qualities. His name was Carlo Moïso (1945-2008). Moïso developed some very powerful concepts, which I have proposed to describe in my monthly articles. Among them is the “5 U’s” concept, which has a major impact on our professional and personal lives.
You will find the first 2 “U” on this web site under the heading Articles.
The Third “U”: The unavoidability of the end
When we start an activity, we rarely think about its end. Engrossed in the issues at stake and the desire to succeed, the notion of end seems minor and far off.
It is only when we are about to reach the end of an activity, or when a problem arises in our daily routine, that we begin to worry.
Is there a new project? Will my company offer me a new interesting job? Should my career move in a different direction? What will my life be like after my professional life is over?
Different attitudes can arise when facing the end of an activity, or of anything else for that matter, since the concept of end is inherent in life:
· Ignore the ending problem and wait for it to “fall” on us. While this form of denial has the advantage of putting off the issue, it does not eliminate it. The end can appear suddenly, and catch us unaware and unprepared.
· Feel anxious when facing an end, asking ourselves questions, which we can neither control nor answer: When is the end going to arrive? Will I ultimately succeed?
· Consider the end as an opportunity to give meaning to our actions.
This positive attitude enables us to draw a time line between a beginning and an end, between two moments of our life. By line we mean direction and hence meaning. We can therefore use the ending of things to ponder about the meaning of our actions, our projects, our job… Where does all this lead me? WHY am I working in this particular field or this job? WHY have I been promoted or fired? WHY have I decided to stay in this company or leave?
It is important to ponder questions on the final meaning, even though the thinking process may vary at different stages of life.
The “Why” at 20-30
People in their thirties are known as the Y generation, meaning “Why?” precisely because their main concern is the “Why” question, addressed to the outside world: “why should I engage in that particular activity or action?”
They look for the answer in the outside world, searching for a good reason before committing themselves.
Being aware of the effects of unemployment and work-connected problems their parents had to confront, people of this generation no longer intend to sacrifice their personal life for the sake of their professional life.
The “What for” at 40-50
This is the age when we search for “meaning” within ourselves. The “WHY” becomes “WHAT FOR?”
At this stage we look at the time gone by and the time left. This leads us to use the time we have left to do meaningful things.
As opposed to the WHY generation, we look for “meaning” within ourselves, striving to understand the whys and wherefores of our actions. The quest for a meaning can at times be accompanied by a reflection on our own spirituality, leading to the need to know which ideal we should embrace. Hence come some questions: what have I accomplished so far? Why or what for? Where should I invest my energy so as to make my assets stand out? And also: who am I? What do I really want to do for the rest of my life? Which ideal do I want to embrace?
The “What for” of retirement age
This is when we move onto a new stage of our life. As professional and material constraints decrease, we may want to use it to accomplish some of our innermost wishes.
Those who have pondered over the question of the meaning of their life and whose choices have been consistent with such a meaning, will probably be better equipped to take advantage of the transition. They have very likely answered their calling and have devoted themselves to activities they have enjoyed.
For others, those who have immersed themselves in their work without concentrating on the meaning of their life, the transition to retirement is a time of soul-searching, a potentially traumatizing process. It may happen in fact that when life is nearing its end, we get the feeling that we have been wasting precious time.
Conclusion
Carlo has shown the powerful awareness of the third “U”, the unavoidability of the end. The sooner we ask ourselves the question of the ending of all activities, and hence of the true meaning of life, the better we can live the present moment. We will thus clearly perceive that the path we follow has a meaning and leads us in the right direction.
To help you find a meaning in the present, we suggest you look up www.share-coach.com/Lifeline. The lifeline will help you to highlight your choices, take meaningful decisions, understand your life’s course, in order to stay on it, redirect it or change it.
