When I started working as a coach, I had the chance to have a supervisor known world-wide for his intellectual and human qualities. His name was Carlo Moïso (1945-2008). Moïso developed some very powerful concepts, which I have proposed to describe in my monthly articles. Among them is the “5 U’s” concept, which has a major impact on our professional and personal lives.
We all know that the past is unchangeable, for the past is made of events that can no longer be altered.
Nevertheless, thanks to memories, the past lives within us and past experiences can condition many of our choices, our actions and our goals. The fact remains, however, that it is not always easy to realize how the past influences us and how much a past experience can affect our lives.
The full awareness of the unchangeability of the past enables us to adopt the following approaches, which are very effective in helping us live the present fully and at the same time remind us of the possible impact of the past on our present lives:
Forgiving ourselves and getting rid of guilt feelings
• Do I spend a lot of time blaming myself and regretting past actions or thoughts, instead of rejoicing over my success and making the most of what I have today?
• After making a mistake, do I focus on what I should have done, instead of drawing a positive lesson and bouncing back?
• Do I waste energy reproaching myself over past actions and thoughts, instead of devoting my energy to finding new solutions for my present and future life,
as well as my professional and personal lives?
Forgiving others
• Do I spend a lot of time reprimanding my family/my colleagues over past events or actions instead of conveying positive energy and thus encouraging them to move forward?
• Do I concentrate on regrets and on analyzing the whys and wherefores of past events instead of looking for the best solution for the present and the future?
• Do I want others to be different, instead of appreciating them as they are?
Coming to terms with grief
• Do I hide my sadness behind negative emotions (anger, for instance) instead of accepting it as a normal feeling?
• Am I haunted by the feeling of a lost past, instead of admitting that life is in a state of flux and that what’s gone is gone?
Living the present moment instead of idealizing the past
• Do I often take refuge in wistful reminiscences of a positive past, instead of living the present moment, however difficult, and investing in the future?
• Am I the kind of person who likes to think that “life was better before”, instead of trying to overcome present difficulties and live fully the happy moments of the here and now?
Conclusion
The past, especially when we look at it from a positive point of view and as a source of self-confidence, can help us to endure, and draw energy from, difficult situations in the present and thus move forward.
The awareness of the fourth “U”, the unchangeability of the past, enables us to live in the present moment, coping with its hardships and living its joys fully.
Furthermore, it helps us to develop and blossom in the present and in the future and to convey this feeling of self-fulfillment to our family and friends, in our workplace or wherever we may be.
